A central woman is seen cooking with a soft and contemplative expression on her face. Within her bright turquoise, you can see the image of three children—two very young sleeping peacefully and a much older girl watching them—they are siblings. There are abstract round shapes of pinks, yellows, and oranges flowing off of the woman behind her as she stirs food in a bowl. In the pink background, a group of happy women can be seen doing various activities like reading and chatting together.

LAUREN IBAÑEZ / NEXTGENRADIO

What is the meaning of

home?

In this project we are highlighting the experiences of people in the state of Texas.
 

Alyson Rodriguez speaks with Gloria Staine on what home means to her. Gloria, 37, is a single mom and is working to establish a permanent home for herself and her children. She currently lives in Villa Maria, a women’s shelter in El Paso. The shelter helps women who are unhoused become self-sufficient. Since moving to Villa Maria, Gloria has found a job and will go back to school soon.

Single mom finds second chance at women’s shelter: “It’s a home in between homes”

by | Sep 8, 2023

Listen to the Story

by ALYSON RODRIGUEZ | Next Generation Radio, Texas Newsroom & UTEP | September 2023

Click here for audio transcript

GLORIA STAINE:

To me home is somewhere where I can feel I can be myself, where I feel safe. It means being able to watch my children grow up, being able to tuck them in at night.

My name is Gloria Staine. 

I’ve been here at Villa Maria a little over a year now. I do like to call it my temporary home. It’s a home in between homes. I feel safe here. 

Villa Maria is a transitional shelter. It’s a safe place for women to come if they’re finding themselves close to homelessness. 

We all have our own different and unique situation. We are all trying to find stability. 

I actually like the sisterhood here. Some of us play bingo. Some of us enjoy puzzles, some of us enjoy growing plants. I think a lot of us enjoy cooking. We take turns cooking for each other.

I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. I can’t say my family was a well-functioning family. We had our moments. There was a lot of fighting in the house, mostly between my sisters and I. My dad, he would take off for the weekend. He would come back angry at the world. My mother, she was always home. She cooked for us. She did her best with us.

I did end up in a foster home. My mother gave up my custody. 

The last time I really felt like I was at home was when my daughter was three months old, I found myself going back to Los Angeles with my mother and we managed to find a little house in East Los Angeles.

I remember going to Sears, picking out a fridge and a stove with my mother, having them delivered, feeling safe and happy with my mother and my daughter. Being at peace and being happy as a family.

I actually have three children. My oldest she’ll be 16. I haven’t seen her since she was five. I lost custody of her sometime in 2012. My second daughter, she’s nine. And my son, he’s five.

My son is with his father in Conroe. My mother has my daughter in Los Angeles. Right now, I’m currently in the transitional stage here at Villa Maria. I am hoping to acquire funding for rapid rehousing. Hopefully if that all works, I’ll be able to have my children again.

Being at Villa Maria I’ve actually managed to work on myself. Learning how to pick and choose my battles. I feel like I’ve been able to better prepare myself for the future. 

I’ve been able to save up to buy myself a vehicle. I’ve managed to buy things that I’m gonna need for my home. Pots, pans, knives. Sheets. 

Despite everything I’ve been through, I’m just staying focused on the bigger picture. Having a home my children can feel safe, where even I can grow.

Yarn, books and multi-colored beads cover Gloria Staine’s bedside table. From it, she pulls out a beaded bracelet that she started for her youngest daughter. But she isn’t sure how to finish it to make sure it actually fits her. Staine isn’t living with her three children right now — ages 16, 9 and 5  — as she tries to rebuild her life. 

“I want to have my family again,” Staine said. “To tuck in my children, make sure that they are healthy, make their meals. I want to be able to take them to school, watch them grow.”

Staine is 37 years old and was born in Los Angeles, California. She currently lives at Villa Maria, a women’s shelter in El Paso, Texas.

“To me, home is somewhere where I can feel I can be myself,” Staine said. “Where I can be alone with my thoughts … Somewhere I feel safe.”

Gloria sits outside in the garden area on a metal chair with green plants in her background.

The garden area is one of Gloria Staine’s favorite spots at Villa Maria. Sept. 4, 2023.

ALYSON RODRIGUEZ / NEXTGENRADIO

Growing up, Staine didn’t feel comfortable or safe at her own home. 

“There was a lot of fighting in the house, mostly between my sisters and I,” she said. “My dad, he would take off for the weekend. He would come back angry at the world. My mother, she was always home. She cooked for us. She did her best with us.”

When Staine was 15, her dad had already left the household and her mother gave up her parental rights and placed her in foster care, where she spent 10 months in.

Later, at 24 years old, Staine found herself struggling as a single mom.

“I honestly found myself digging myself into a hole,” she said. “I thought about how was I gonna pay for childcare? How was I gonna get to and from school? How was I gonna get my child to and from childcare? What time was I gonna have for myself? I still had to pay rent, work, school, home, children – I kept on digging myself deeper into that hole.”

A wood-paneled wall harbors a stained glass mosaic window of a cross. In the middle of the cross is a red heart and two roses are on either side of the cross. Light and dark blue frame the outside of the cross. Candles line the bottom of the cross.

A stained glass window decorates the prayer room. Sept. 4, 2023.

ALYSON RODRIGUEZ / NEXTGENRADIO

Shadows cascade on top of the tiled artwork of the Virgin Mary which is located on one of the walls in the garden area.

A Virgin Mary in the center of Villa Maria is the garden area. Sept. 4, 2023.

ALYSON RODRIGUEZ / NEXTGENRADIO

For the last 14 months, Staine has been living at Villa Maria, a shelter for single women coming from different circumstances and helps them become self-sufficient. According to the center’s website, Villa Maria has served over 2,000 women since it opened in 2007. 

“It’s a home in between homes. I feel safe here,” Staine said. “I’ve actually managed to be able to work on myself, know what works for me and what doesn’t. Learning how to pick and choose my battles.”

Women can stay at Villa Maria between three months to two years. They get their own room and bathroom and share common areas with each other, including a library, praying room, TV room, garden area and kitchen. 

Even though Staine didn’t feel close to her own two sisters growing up, she’s found sisterhood with the other women at Villa Maria. 

“I would call them sisters,” Staine said. “We all have our own different and unique situation. We are all trying to find stability.”

One of her favorite things to do there is cook with the other women. 

“Some of us play bingo,” Staine said. “Some of us enjoy puzzles, some of us enjoy growing plants, tending to them. But to be honest, I think a lot of us enjoy cooking. We take turns cooking for each other.”

“It’s a home in between homes. I feel safe here. I’ve actually managed to be able to work on myself, know what works for me and what doesn’t. Learning how to pick and choose my battles.”

Gloria Staine

Resident at Villa Maria

A giraffe mosaic art piece made by Gloria’s youngest daughter hangs  is shown in the window of Gloria’s room.

Artwork by Gloria Staine’s youngest daughter hangs on the window of her room at Villa Maria Women’s shelter in El Paso, Texas. She keeps it there as motivation and to remind her that she’s turning her life around for her kids. Sept. 4, 2023

ALYSON RODRIGUEZ / NEXTGENRADIO

While she dropped out of high school, Staine got her GED at the age of 30, and has plans to continue her education this fall. 

At Villa Maria, Staine has been working on turning her life around. She currently works as a shift manager at a local Jack in the Box. Through this job, she’s been able to save up enough money to buy herself a car. Now she’s saving up to one day to buy a home for her and her three kids. Her son is living with his father in Texas, and her youngest daughter is in Los Angeles with her mom. Staine lost custody of her oldest daughter in 2012.

“I want my children to feel safe, to feel loved, that they can explore their own minds at home. I want them each to have their own little space,” she said.

Staine also hopes to mend her relationship with her own mom.

“My mom’s always been there for me. I’m always gonna be grateful to her for helping me with my children, for helping me to hold onto them.”