Single mom finds second chance at women’s shelter: “It’s a home in between homes”

Yarn, books and multi-colored beads cover Gloria Staine’s bedside table. From it, she pulls out a beaded bracelet that she started for her youngest daughter. But she isn’t sure how to finish it to make sure it actually fits her. Staine isn’t living with her three children right now — ages 16, 9 and 5  — as she tries to rebuild her life. 

“I want to have my family again,” Staine said. “To tuck in my children, make sure that they are healthy, make their meals. I want to be able to take them to school, watch them grow.”

Staine is 37 years old and was born in Los Angeles, California. She currently lives at Villa Maria, a women’s shelter in El Paso, Texas.

“To me, home is somewhere where I can feel I can be myself,” Staine said. “Where I can be alone with my thoughts … Somewhere I feel safe.”

Growing up, Staine didn’t feel comfortable or safe at her own home. 

“There was a lot of fighting in the house, mostly between my sisters and I,” she said. “My dad, he would take off for the weekend. He would come back angry at the world. My mother, she was always home. She cooked for us. She did her best with us.”

When Staine was 15, her dad had already left the household and her mother gave up her parental rights and placed her in foster care, where she spent 10 months in.

Later, at 24 years old, Staine found herself struggling as a single mom.

“I honestly found myself digging myself into a hole,” she said. “I thought about how was I gonna pay for childcare? How was I gonna get to and from school? How was I gonna get my child to and from childcare? What time was I gonna have for myself? I still had to pay rent, work, school, home, children – I kept on digging myself deeper into that hole.”

A stained glass window decorates the prayer room. Sept. 4, 2023.

ALYSON RODRIGUEZ / NEXTGENRADIO

For the last 14 months, Staine has been living at Villa Maria, a shelter for single women coming from different circumstances and helps them become self-sufficient. According to the center’s website, Villa Maria has served over 2,000 women since it opened in 2007. 

“It’s a home in between homes. I feel safe here,” Staine said. “I’ve actually managed to be able to work on myself, know what works for me and what doesn’t. Learning how to pick and choose my battles.”

Women can stay at Villa Maria between three months to two years. They get their own room and bathroom and share common areas with each other, including a library, praying room, TV room, garden area and kitchen. 

Even though Staine didn’t feel close to her own two sisters growing up, she’s found sisterhood with the other women at Villa Maria. 

“I would call them sisters,” Staine said. “We all have our own different and unique situation. We are all trying to find stability.”

One of her favorite things to do there is cook with the other women. 

“Some of us play bingo,” Staine said. “Some of us enjoy puzzles, some of us enjoy growing plants, tending to them. But to be honest, I think a lot of us enjoy cooking. We take turns cooking for each other.”

While she dropped out of high school, Staine got her GED at the age of 30, and has plans to continue her education this fall. 

At Villa Maria, Staine has been working on turning her life around. She currently works as a shift manager at a local Jack in the Box. Through this job, she’s been able to save up enough money to buy herself a car. Now she’s saving up to one day to buy a home for her and her three kids. Her son is living with his father in Texas, and her youngest daughter is in Los Angeles with her mom. Staine lost custody of her oldest daughter in 2012.

“I want my children to feel safe, to feel loved, that they can explore their own minds at home. I want them each to have their own little space,” she said.

Staine also hopes to mend her relationship with her own mom.

“My mom’s always been there for me. I’m always gonna be grateful to her for helping me with my children, for helping me to hold onto them.”